Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
