Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
