absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
