Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
