allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
