toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize