If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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