Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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