I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
