He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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