Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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