Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
