they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
