i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize