I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and she was petting her beer can
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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