how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
