Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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