let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
