no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
