So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize