i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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