I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
