My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
