Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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