I look better un-naked...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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