She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
