haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What changed your mind?
Being sober
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
