are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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