Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
