Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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