Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
