Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
