her vagine was all disorganized.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize