Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
