ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
