I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
