the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
