Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
