I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
