How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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