i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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