the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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