She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
