marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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