I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
