Small penises have feelings too.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
