That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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