that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
