my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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