: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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