you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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