I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
