The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
