just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
