how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
