she was so not down for the gang bang
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
