What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
