This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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